|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
HANDLING SPECIAL SITUATIONS, Part II
What do we do with Difficult People?
Have you ever had concerns about how to handle difficult people or sticky situations in Group meetings? Paul explains that different personalities require different types of caring in I Thessalonians 5:14.
1. The “Impossible” Personality Situation
Everywhere there are churches with Cells who just “pass around” the people who have “impossible” personalities. These people usually don’t have any social sensitivity. They dominate a group session. They say tactless things, sometimes offending others. We disgrace the power of God when we just put up with these folks, passing them on to someone else as the group multiplies. We must deal with these situations, depending on which type of category they fall into. Let’s see some guidelines for doing this.
• Be a caring person and cause these children of the Kingdom to grow out of the disorders, which plague them. Be assured they feel miserable inside! While they probably can’t put their finger on the source of their problems, they do feel they are not like other folks, and wish they could be difficult.
• Sometimes it is best to work with these people for a while in private. You and your Intern, for example, might sit down with the person who is over-talking, and frankly discuss the issue. If it is done in love and after praying together, the person will realize you desire to help, not to scold. Take them to the Lord and act on the truth that all things are possible with God. They, too, can be set free from bondage’s and strongholds.
• Some Groups may include a person who has extra needs stemming from a personal crisis, fragmented family, dysfunctional childhood, or medical neurosis. Some of these hurting members are bottomless wells, siphoning off all the love, interest and energy an entire Group can offer. Although the entire group pours in all the love they can find, these people still complain, blame, and demand more. No matter how much acceptance the group shows, they will use the gathering as an opportunity to play out their hurt and sickness, rather than to hind healing.
How do you deal with them? As soon as such a person begins draining the energy out of the Leader, the Supervisor must become involved. Perhaps the Leader and Supervisor together will sense that the person cannot heal in a normal group, and they will recommend referral to some other recovery or support group. We have to learn that the love of Christ involves sending such people to a place where they can get help, instead of keeping them where they cause harm. Otherwise, the Leader is allowing the Body of Christ in that cell to be sick.
2. What should I do about “special situations”?
In ensuring that proper care be given to the Members, it is important that Cell Leaders report to the Supervisor matters that require attention. This must not be left to judgment. Here are some situations that warrant reporting:
• Ministry Situations: This would include persistent problems of members that cannot be resolved after a few weeks of ministry and help; and all serious marital problems involving divorce, family violence and sexual immorality.
• Disunity: This does not mean there can be no differences of opinion and discussion surrounding them. However, the Cell Leader must be sensitive to rebellious attitudes and direct acts that show a lack of submission.
• Doctrinal Issues: Any hint of wrong doing doctrines should be reported for the purpose of further teaching and clarification.
• Financial Situations: Never allow your members to give or loan money directly to each other. If a serious need exists, first discuss it with your Supervisor before taking any action.
Remember that your Supervisors, Elders and Zone Pastors are there to serve you. Don’t try and be a lone ranger.
|
| | | | |
|
|
|
